Sango's Retaliation
by 32-bit Mandarin Orange
Summary: The sequal to Miroku's Prisoner of War...A dare from Kagome to kiss Miroku puts her in a myriad of embarassing situations (poor sango)
1. Default Chapter

Hey! Sorry it's been almost…what…a year? XD And you thought I forgot about this story! Well, I kinda did, when I didn't have any free time. I decided to do well in school this year, so there really wasn't time for writing. BUT….Here I have….a sequal to a one-shot which actually has two chapters. So…I really don't know what that makes it. A two-shot? A three-shot? Well, whatever. But enjoy it anyways. If you haven't read Miroku's Prisoner of War, you might want to do that before you read this. (But, if you don't feel like it, this story kind of has an individual plot away from that one. So, this will still make sense.)

Sango knew that expression.

Her friend entered the room with a huge, brilliant smile adorning her face that didn't fade even after she sat down to greet Sango. It was the expression of elation that accompanied this so-called "love" that everyone spoke so highly of.

Last week's events seemed to be a distant memory, or a dream, even. Something that hadn't quite happened. Ever since then, everything had been exactly the same. They didn't hold hands, as Inuyasha and Kagome sometimes did. The only time their hands touched one another was his coming in contact with her rear and hers coming in contact with his face.

They'd been politely distant, as if both of them were embarrassed to speak of what they had done. But, as Sango watched Kagome open her mouth, she thought it might have been better that way, sparing both of them a lot of humiliation.

"Oi, Sango chan. What's going on?"

Sango merely tilted her head and smiled. "Nani mo…but something's obviously up with you, ne?"

Kagome blushed. "Is it that obvious?"

Sango grinned. "Spill, Kagome chan."

The blush crept further up her cheeks and her smile couldn't have gotten bigger if she'd won a million yen. "Okay…" she appeared to be gathering herself up here, "Okay. We finally did it!"

Sango's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. "Nani?!?! How old are you Kagome? Fourteen??"

"I'm _fifteen_," she corrected her friend in a slightly offended tone, "And that's not what I meant!"

Sango put her hands on her hips and stared at her younger friend. "Well then?"

"He…he finally kissed me," She said, her voice escalating into a sigh at the end of the sentence.

At that Sango just smiled. "Omedetou! I knew you could do it," she said, resisting to ask Kagome the question most girls ask their girlfriends when they'd just received their first kiss.

But Kagome sensed the curiosity in Sango's eyes. "You wanted to know what it was like?" She asked.

"Eh…" Sango was now starting to blush. "I didn't say anything. But if you want, you can tell me."

They both _knew _that Sango was dying of curiosity, but as long as neither of them said anything, it was all right.

"Well…you get all warm inside…._," _here she paused to gather herself together, "His lips were very soft, for someone who is half-youkai. I don't even know how it happened. We were outside and it was kinda cold, so he gave me his haori. And then when we sat down, we started getting cozy…and then…he got this look on his face. And I got that look on _my _face. And then it was like we were getting drawn together by a magnet, and then…we were kissing. And then we kissed again…and then…well…" Kagome trailed off, and Sango sensed that the story went into the gutter from here.

"That sounds nice," She said, aware of the wistful tone in her voice.

Kagome seemed to have picked up on it right away. "Matte, Sango chan. Does that mean you haven't kissed Miroku?"

Sango nearly choked, feeling the small blush that had just been evaporating flame up again. "Na-nani?? Why would I want to kiss _him?_ That womanizing, perverted, houshi has no common sense! There's absolutely no way on earth I would-" She stopped when she realized Kagome was sitting there silently with a little smile on her face, and she could tell that she didn't believe a word of it. Well, why should she? She _had _seen them last week about to kiss one another, so she had no reason to.

"It was-it was all a fluke," Sango stammered, "You know. You know the way that houshi is."

Kagome nodded. "Hai, I do know. And I also know that you wimped out and are afraid to kiss him."

For a moment Sango's mouth opened and closed, reminding Kagome of a fish out of water. "That's-that's not how it is! And besides, I didn't see you kissing Inuyasha until today, anyways!"

Kagome nodded. "See, there's this thing you need. You need the mood. It has to be a good time, not just any time. You have to help create a nice mood or take advantage of one that's already there."

Sango felt slightly foolish listening to this Kagome, who was younger than her, on advice about her "love life."

"and," Kagome continued, "there have been many opportunities when you didn't take it. And the mood left. So that is why I think you're afraid."

"I'm afraid of his wandering hands, that's what I'm afraid of. I don't want to be sexually harassed while I'm trying to kiss him!" Her words hovered in the air, and quickly she covered her mouth-the traitorous bastard. Now it sounded as if she'd _wanted _to kiss him.

"Ah, so you _do _want to kiss him. I knew it would come out eventually." Kagome smiled, satisfied, while Sango sat there groping for words.

"I just-no, I don't! I was just speaking metaphorically! I didn't-I didn't mean-that exactly- it's just that…"

"How about this, Sango chan? I _dare _you to kiss him. You don't have to be embarrassed about it if you do it once. Then you don't ever have to say it's never happened to you before!"

"D-dare?" Sango repeated.

"It's like I'm challenging you. That's what we call it in my world."

"Hmph. That's stupid," Sango muttered. "If I wanted to, which I _don't, _I wouldn't do it just because of that."

But Kagome had already left.

That night, Sango lay awake, staring at the ceiling.

For some reason, Kagome's words stung. A _challenge, _that's what it was, and she was backing down from it. Granted, it wasn't the same kind of challenge she was used to-fighting youkai and the lot, but still, her warrior spirit burned with wanting to accept this challenge. Especially since her heart was urging her so.

Fine, then, she thought grimly, I'll do it. But I won't like it.

And she tried to ignore the voice inside arguing with her.

Crawling off of the futon, she made her way over to where Miroku was curled up, sound asleep. If she kissed him while he was asleep, it would count, wouldn't it? She hadn't said anything in the dare about the person being _awake. _

When she reached his sleeping form, she stopped and looked down. Gods, he was so adorable when he was asleep. He looked almost like a little boy, and Sango didn't realize how her heartbeat was staring to quicken by just looking at him.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she leaned down and closed her eyes.

And then, in a second, she felt her lips come in contact with something that definitely _wasn't _his lips.

Her eyes flew open and she saw that she was kissing the very tip of his nose.

_Augh__! _Screamed the inner voice again. Kagome hadn't specified that it would be so _difficult! _She'd made it seem like such a simple action, like waking up in the morning, something that was so commonplace and ordinary that she didn't need to give it any thought.

Staring at his nose, Sango blushed. In a few hours, they would be awake and on the rode again, and that perfect face would have been marred with a single hidden kiss.

Unless…unless he was awake and faking the entire time.

"Miroku?" She whispered. No response. But, dangit, she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep unless she found out for sure that he was asleep.

"Miroku!" Shaking his shoulder, she watched his face suddenly come to life. It was an interesting thing to see-suddenly the black eyebrows drew together and the eyes squeezed shut for an instant, before flying open and glancing around.

"Nani ga, Sango?" He asked, his voice still cracking from sleep.

Quickly she fumbled for an excuse while he stared at her, bleary-eyed and confused. But all her stupid mind could focus on was how cute he looked when he was confused.

"…Sango?"

"It's nothing, houshi sama. Go back to sleep."

His slow-growing grin didn't pass Sango by; she knew what prospect was passing though his mind at the moment.

"Mmm, Sango. What were you trying to do, sneaking up on my while I'm asleep?"

"Ano….watashi…." damn that lecherous monk and his ideas!

"I'd think that _you _of all people probably do worse things to me while I'm asleep!" She said hotly, her voice practically a screech.

"Calm down, Sango. Come here," he patted the spot next to him on the one-person futon.

Sango snorted, wanting to slap him but not wanting to wake the others.

"I'm going back to bed. To _my _bed. Good night."

And so she lay there, staring at the ceiling again. _I have failed…_she thought agonizingly. But there's always tomorrow…and besides, Kagome didn't know about her first failed attempt. And she never would.

The next day saw Sango sulking, bringing up the rear of the group. Miroku noticed, of course. He noticed every little change with Sango-instead of using his monk perceptions for evil premonitions, he used them , unknown to Sango, to learn every little thing about her.

But he wanted to keep it that way, so he let her trail at the back, pretending not to notice.

When they reached the next town, Sango and Kagome disappeared into the tavern, leaving Miroku and Inuyasha standing in the rented room.

"Oi, Miroku. Where did our women go?"

Miroku, who was not the type of person to become flustered, stammered, "Our? Whatever do you mean, Inuyasha?" And this was all punctuated with a nervous laugh.

Inuyasha looked at Miroku-long, hard. "I saw you last week. I saw you after that mountain youkai. I saw you after that Kuranosuke guy! Now don't play dumb with me, you ass. Go get her before it's too late."

Miroku felt that by that sentence he not only meant physically, but to claim her now, forever. But instead of showing the slightest bit of comprehension, he simply ignored the ranting hanyou and stood up. "I believe I will go take a walk, Inuyasha. I will be back soon."

Kagome had never been inside a tavern before. They'd stopped there to rest, but the boys had always ushered them upstairs before she could get a decent look around. But since Inuyasha was nowhere in sight, she and Sango were free to explore the place.

The place was filled with drunks, as was expected in a tavern at night. Sango glanced around and was met with the bleary-eyed expressions of a hoard of them before glancing back at Kagome. Her face held an expression of determination, and in a moment she was plowing through the crowd, heading for the counter.

"I want sake," she said, in an almost demanding tone. The man behind the counter merely raised an eyebrow at her before he silently gave her the drink.

"Sango…what are you doing?" Kagome asked, perplexed at her friend's odd behavior.

Sango turned to her with an odd, un-Sango-like smile, and only said, "You'll see."

Kagome had all but forgotten about the dare she'd made to her last night, but she vaguely wondered if that had something to do with this.

Sango's reasoning made perfect sense to her, and even more so once she got the first drink in her system. Tonight was going to be the night. The indirect approach obviously didn't work-there had to be another consenting, conscious person involved. So Sango resolved that she would do it now. Take him out for a walk and then she would just randomly kiss him. The thought had appalled her at first. She would never be able to look him in the eye again if she did that.

So she decided that she'd get herself good and drunk. She was going to humiliate herself anyways, and perhaps if _she _was only in a half-conscious state of being, then maybe the humility would alleviate. Especially if she couldn't remember what happened the next day. And being drunk would help, she convinced herself. She'd do things that she normally wouldn't do if she was sober, so it would be easier.

She didn't think that being drunk would force her to embarrass herself even more.

"So what did you wish to speak to me about, Sango?"

She looked at him and giggled. "I lied. I just want to be with_ you_," she said shamelessly, and then latched herself onto his arm.

Miroku was taken aback, and for a moment he was speechless. What in the…what in the world was Sango _doing?_

Usually he was the one to shock _her _speechless, not the other way around. She would never openly admit to even remotely _liking _him, but this?

"Ano…Sango?"

"Come on, let's take a walk," she said giddily, letting go of his arm and prancing ahead a few steps.

When Miroku caught sight of her glazed eyes and her reddened face, he knew that she was drunk. He wondered if someone had slipped her something without her knowing.

"Alright…" he said hesitantly, following her.

Sango talked. About what he didn't know; she made no sense entirely.

"Houshi sama…" she said huskily, and stopped. Before Miroku knew what she was doing, she'd grabbed his face and tried planting a kiss on it! Luckily, with her dulled senses, he was able to avoid it.

What in the world was she trying to do?

"Sango, I think you had better go inside and lay down."

If she had been sober, he would have been thrilled. But she was so drunk that she could barely walk in a straight line.

"Come, now," he said firmly, and took her arm and guided her back towards the tavern.

"Houshi sama…" she said pitifully, and in the back of her mind, mentally cursed her second failed attempt.

Please review! The faster I get reviews, the faster I post the ending!

xAurorax


	2. Part Two of the TwoShot OneShot

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, everyone! Sorry it took me so long to post…I've been busy with work. -.- ucky.

That next morning, Miroku was confused. He glanced to his left, where a girl with long brown hair lay moaning softly into a towel.

"I have a hangover…" she muttered to a girl in a schoolgirl uniform. Why had she allowed herself to become so drunk? And with no one else around, it seemed convenient, almost_ planned_.

He found the whole situation remotely provocative in a way that both amused him and worried him. Had she remembered a single thing she'd said or done last night?

Unfortunately for her, she had. Sango was thankful for the hangover, because it gave her the excuse to lay in the dark and hide her utter humiliation. And-dare she even think this?- plot her next move? She had to hand it to herself. This took guts. She began to feel the faintest sprouting of admiration for Kagome.

But Sango was completely out of ideas. She'd tried it when hewas _unconscious_, she'd tried it when he was_ conscious_ and she was full of spirits, and it hadn't worked. Flat-out kissing the boy was something that never crossed her mind, but it certainly had crossed his.

They were off again, encamped at a river, and no more was said about anything that had happened. Kagome and Inuyasha were no less platonic with one another than they ever had been, but there was the occasional sweeping glance, the occasional linked hands, the occasional blush, that made Sango feel a deep _something _stirring inside of her. It was as if that one kiss had unlocked all those emotions wrapped up inside of them. It made her wonder if, after she accomplished her goal, anything would change between her and Miroku.

Kagome was cooking the fish Inuyasha had just caught, and Miroku and Inuyasha were running around like little boys and drenching one another with water.

Kagome smiled ruefully and rolled her eyes at them. "Ah, those silly boys. They never learn, do they?"

Sango, who had been watching Miroku very closely, started when she heard Kagome's voice. "What?"

Sango didn't miss the coy expression on her friend's face. "You were watching him, Sango chan. I saw you."

There was no denying it. "So-so what if I was? Is that a crime?" She spat through her blush.

"Indeed not. But it certainly is if you haven't…" She let her sentence trail off, meeting Sango's eyes. Quickly Sango averted her own.

"No, I…I haven't." She felt like such a fool. She could beat up all the boys in her village as a little girl, she could exterminate any youkai that was thrown at her, but she couldn't even get one wimpy little kiss.

"Inuyasha! Miroku! Watch out! Those rocks are sharp!" Kagome yelled, diverting her attention away from the subject at hand.

"Keh!" Said Inuyasha scornfully, "Rocks! You worry too much, woman!" Kagome shrugged and turned back to her fish. She was about to open her mouth again when a two sharp cries pierced the happy mood of the campground.

"Miroku fell in!" came Shippou's piercing cry through the air. In an instant the girls were at their feet and running towards the spot where Inuyasha stood alone, stupidly staring at the bubbling surface of the river.

"Inuyasha! Don't just stand there! Go in after him!" Kagome demanded, while Sango's heart pounded frenetically in her ears. Every second of rushing water was a thousand years of torture to her as she waited anxiously for him to surface. The rocks below were sharp…a blow to the head could potentially kill.

It had been at least five seconds since Miroku had fallen in, and there was still no sign of him. The bottom was indistinguishable, but it looked deep. And then Sango remembered something that almost made her heart stop.

He couldn't swim. He'd lived near the little pool all his life, but never a big river, and certainly not near the ocean, so there had been no need. Mentally Sango cursed him, wishing he'd taken the time to learn.

"Fine. I'm going," Inuyasha said irritably, tossing his haori at Kagome and climbing over the rocks to dive into the rushing currents. For a moment, both Inuyasha and Miroku were nowhere in sight, but in the next instant Inuyasha's ears appeared and Miroku's dark hair proceeded it.

"He's alive…" Sango felt her knees go weak with relief as the seriousness of the situation hit her head-on. Had Inuyasha been a second later, or had he been alone, or had the current been stronger…she might have lost him to the water. Lost him, and never seen him again.

Inuyasha dragged Miroku onto the surface and not-so-gently laid him down. Blood flowed from a slight wound on his head, but what terrified her was his chest. It was perfectly still.

"He's not breathing!" She yelled, realizing as she said it that Kagome had already left to retrieve a bandage for his head. Her voice bounced back to greet her, and Kagome halted in her tracks.

"Use CPR!" She called back, then paused, realizing Sango would have no idea what that meant. "Breathe into his mouth! Put your lips on his and breathe into his mouth! Quick! _Hurry!"_

In barely a heartbeat of thought, Sango bent down , took his face into hers, and leaned down towards his lips.

But before she had a chance to perform the life-saving CPR, a pair of arms suddenly slipped around her body, making her entirely rigid. She knew those arms. She knew that touch...it could only be…

"What the hell?" She muttered right before she was guided down by the supposed invalid and her lips were on his.

Her mind swirled…he was unconscious, wasn't he? Had he revived before she'd even done a thing? Why was he…what was he? She could barely form a cogent thought, though, above the sudden weakness of her body. Her limbs were rendered useless, powerless to do anything but lay on top of the drenched monk and return the kiss he was bestowing upon her with such reverence, such passion, such…

She _knew_ that touch, all right. She especially knew it when his hand was crawling down to places it shouldn't be touching. "Damn you!" She screamed, breaking the kiss, and slapped him as hard as she could.

When Sango looked up Kagome was standing above her, an incredulous expression on her face. "What the…? What's going on, Sango?"

Infuriated, Sango opened her mouth. "_This guy…" _she could barely speak over her fury, "He must think he's smart. What in the world were you thinking, Miroku? Pretending you were drowned, worrying me so much! What the heck is wrong with you? Just so you could steal a kiss and a grope and a…" she trailed off, realized what she'd just said. It was true. Was this whole act merely a ploy, then?

Miroku sat up, gingerly touching the wound on his forehead. "You shouldn't strike the injured, Sango. It's not good manners."

"Manners my foot!" She shrieked, "I want you to explain to me what you think you're doing!"

Kagome had already began to clean off his forehead, and he flinched a bit.

"I fell in and hit my head on a rock," he stated calmly, "But it didn't knock me out. I was under there, struggling to get to the surface, when Inuyasha here came and rescued me. When we surfaced, I was exhausted. All I could do was breathe. When you guys brought me ashore, I was fine, but I was feeling extremely dizzy. I was taking shallow breaths so I wouldn't cough-I think I might have swallowed some water. But then I heard what Kagome said to you, Sango, and I decided to wait until you were about to do it, and then…" He grinned, rubbing the slap print on his face.

She was speechless for an instant, but finally the words all clamored to her mouth again. "You…you're…you're despicable! You know how worried I was? I thought you were…I thought you were _dead, _I thought you had stopped breathing, I thought…" She stopped. "Damn it." She shook her head and stopped talking, so embarrassed that she could barely see straight.

His smile only grew wider. "You were worried about me?"

"Well, of course I was! I mean, if it had been Inuyasha or Kagome or Shippou I would have been just as worried. But that _wasn't _funny. Pretending to drown, that is." She paused and tried to breathe. Kagome discreetly chose to exit at that moment, and mentally Sango thanked her friend.

But Miroku only shrugged. "It's a better plan than trying to kiss someone while they're supposedly asleep. Or to intoxicate oneself and thereby remove all self-dignity."

She froze.

"What…? What did you say?"

Miroku enjoyed her embarrassment. She looked so cute, with her entire face bright pink from the roots of her hair down to her neck. He drew out the pause as long as possible.

"I said….I knew….what you were trying….to do…."

No. It wasn't possible. How could he know? Her plans had been so foolproof! She'd planned them so carefully, put the precision of a militant officer into them. And here he was saying he knew all along?

"What are you talking about?" She asked, trying to feign innocence even though she was undoubtedly foiled.

"Kagome told me about her little dare," he continued, as if she had not spoken, "and Inuyasha was awake that entire time you were trying to kiss me when I was asleep. He told me what you had done."

If anyone had told her it was possible to be this humiliated, she wouldn't have believed them. She couldn't look at him at all.

Neither of them spoke for several paradoxical minutes that seemed both agonizing and pleasing, short-lived and eons long.

"Why don't we just stop pretending?" Miroku said finally, so softly that she could barely hear. "We're both so used to acting contrary to what we believe- you, pretending that you're fine all the time when I know how worried sick you are about your brother; and me, pretending that I'm not cursed and that everything is just great, even though my death is always before me. And we both pretend that we feel nothing for one another."

Sango sneaked a glance at him and saw that he was staring at the grass intently. He was being serious. "I-," her voice cracked, and she tried again. "I- I think you're right. That one time, you know, I wanted to pretend it didn't happen." Listening to herself, she sounded like a babbling idiot. But Miroku understood her perfectly.

"I just thought it would be better not to complicate everything," he said, "But there _is _no avoiding it. I do care about you, Sango, and I'm going to stop pretending that I don't."

She knew he was waiting for a reply. She barely thought about what she would say-the words just sprang out of her mouth on instinct. "All right," she said, "I'll stop, too. Pretending, that is."

"Let's go back to camp. I'm hungry," he said and helped her up.

"Want to try that kiss again?" He asked, and without really waiting for permission, he swept her into his arms and kissed her soundly in plain view of everyone. This time, Sango really kissed him back, but halted the minute she heard clapping and shouting from the camp.

"Remind me to kill them later," she muttered. But she had to smile a little bit when she heard Shippou's innocent "Kagome? What are they doing?"

Yep, tis over. Not my best story, but whatever, I'm satisfied with it. The truth is, I had a dream like this, where the whole thing happened with Miroku falling into the lake and kissing Sango. That's why I wrote this Sango's Retaliation in the first place, because I thought it would be a funny, if rather ironic, ending. Poor Sango just can't win. -.-

xAurora


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